Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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