I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
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