Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
