So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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