Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
