Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
