so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
