i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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