I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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