Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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