Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
