i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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