i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
