nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
