i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
