Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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