garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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