wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You ruined the universe
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
