I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
