My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I touched a dick in church today
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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