& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
