shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She's the barista slut.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
