Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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