i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
