If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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