i don't like sucking hair
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
