So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
