hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
