no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
