speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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