Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
