i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i've created a new STD.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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