READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
