I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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