Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
