He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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