Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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