Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
