I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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