It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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