so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
