I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
