apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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