HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
