dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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