as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
