there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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