I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
