Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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