i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm passing your future prison.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
