I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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