Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
