I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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