too bad you live with your parents still
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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