I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
